Background –
We matched online and went on three dates. When I was in the Uber on my way, he texted to reschedule saying he had to stay late at work. Since it was a legit reason, I didn’t think much about it and rescheduled. The rescheduled first date and the second one didn’t any issues - nothing out of the ordinary, the dates were great. He expressed interest. But after the second date, his texts slipped in frequency and were shorter. He still asked for a third date despite this.
Before I left for the third date, he texted again to cancel with a different reason. Now I feel like he doesn’t care, and he’s lost interest. How do I handle this?
Response –
Bigger questions here: What was the reasoning the second time he cancelled, and do you believe him? Aside from the obvious annoyance of getting ready and being on your way to the dates he cancelled last minute, sometimes life throws us an expected curveball with pulling some overtime with work, but twice out of three dates seems to be a little too convenient. However, before throwing him under the bus and making him the villain, it seems as though you may have picked up on his changed behaviour, especially with the change in texting style and frequency.
If you’ve double checked this isn’t any anxious attachment style on your part coming through, the next question to ask yourself is: How much of this am I willing to take? Unless he has a job that requires last minute OT or shift coverage (hello, ER doctor), it seems as though he has other priorities. Let’s not negate the fact he could quite possibly have a job that’s unpredictable with overtime, but it seems his lack of communication surrounding it by texting you at the last possibly moments of the pre-planned date leads me to believe that isn’t the case.
Regardless of the reasoning behind why he’s bailed twice on you (it would be a waste of time with no reward to figure that out), the question shifts to you: What are you willing to tolerate and how much of it? If you’re not into this (I don’t blame you at all if you weren’t), simply send him a text saying “hey, it was great getting to know you, but it seems like we’re not a match with your schedule. I wish you the best.” and move on.
You deserve to be someone’s choice not an option, and his actions come across like you’re an option to him.
Коментарі