Have you ever noticed that when you had an assignment or paper due, your place has never looked cleaner? Or you never realized how much you love to bake? Or how some of the most random and obscure queries need answers in this very moment?
It’s amazing when there’s a thing that we need to do that we’re not excited to do, we can accomplish some of the most mundane tasks first. Isn’t funny in a way that we would rather put off doing the thing we need to do to exist in some sort of prolonged suffering and complete literally anything but the thing as a means to avoid doing it?
Well, if you’re like me and you are also putting off the thing you need to do, here is a list of 99 things that are not doing the thing.
1. Checking your emails is not doing the thing.
2. Making yourself a snack is not doing the thing.
3. Checking your socials is not doing the thing.
4. Looking out the window is not doing the thing.
5. Going for a run is not doing the thing.
6. Grabbing (your 5th) coffee is not doing the thing.
7. Refilling your water bottle is not doing the thing.
8. Planning your next vacation is not doing the thing.
9. Texting your friend back is not doing the thing.
10. Painting your nails is not doing the thing.
11. Cleaning your desk is not doing the thing.
12. Loading/unloading the dishwasher is not doing the thing.
13. Reorganizing your space is not doing the thing.
14. Scrolling through food deliver apps is not doing the thing.
15. Figuring out your weekend plans is not doing the thing.
16. Editing your photos from the past week is not doing the thing.
17. Touring places on google street view is not doing the thing.
18. Perusing amazon to buy random shit is not doing the thing.
19. Scrolling through Temu to decide what cheap shit to buy is not doing the thing.
20. Organizing your Outlook inbox is not doing the thing.
21. Reading every news outlet is not doing the thing.
22. Watering your indoor plants is not doing the thing.
23. Folding the clean laundry that's been existing in a clothes pile on your chair is not doing the thing.
24. Finding the right playlist on Spotify is not doing the thing.
25. Doodling in your notebook (or elsewhere really) is not doing the thing.
26. Tapping your pen on your desk to the sick beat in your head is not doing the thing.
27. Reading your astrology for this upcoming week is not doing the thing.
28. Listening to that podcast is not doing the thing.
29. Getting the office tea from your work bestie is not doing the thing.
30. Sending your friends Instagram or Tiktok reels is not doing the thing.
31. Watching all the Instagram and Tiktok reels your friends send you is not doing the thing.
32. Going to the gym is not doing the thing.
33. Walking your dog is not doing the thing.
34. Petting your cat (or neighbour's cat) is not doing the thing.
35. Playing video games is not doing the thing.
36. Scrolling through dating apps is not doing the thing.
37. Taking a bath is not doing the thing.
38. Reorganizing your closet is not doing the thing.
39. Baking is not doing the thing.
40. Signing up for that spin class is not doing the thing.
41. Reading up on the ankle sock versus crew sock debate is not doing the thing.
42. Writing in your journal is not doing the thing.
43. Binge watching Netflix (or any other streaming platform) is not doing the thing.
44. Catching up on the missed messages in the group chat is not doing the thing.
45. Updating your LinkedIn profile is not doing the thing.
46. Reading the countless job reviews for companies who have multiple job postings is not doing the thing.
47. Redecorating your living space is not doing the thing.
48. Ruminating about the past is not doing the thing.
49. Figuring out what you want for lunch today or in this week is not doing the thing.
50. Reading through the backstory behind a recipe just to see if the recipe calls for ingredients you already own is not doing the thing.
51. Weeding the garden is not doing the thing.
52. Creeping Facebook profiles of people you went to school with is not doing the thing.
53. Playing guitar is not doing the thing.
54. Biting your nails is not doing the thing.
55. Going to the beach is not doing the thing.
56. Going for a bike ride is not doing the thing.
57. Perusing the Dollarstore is not doing the thing.
58. Writing motivating affirmations on your whiteboard so you feel inspired is not doing the thing.
59. Scrolling through Zillow looking at listings you'll be able to afford in 40 years if you sacrifice the iced coffees and avocado toast is not doing the thing.
60. Talking to your bestie on the phone for hours is not doing the thing.
61. Looking up the Where-Are-They-Nows for the entire cast of Love is Blind is not doing the thing.
62. Researching which farmers market to check out this weekend is not doing the thing.
63. Reflecting on past eras of your life to find comparisons to where you are now is not doing the thing.
64. Looking through old high school yearbooks is not doing the thing.
65. Refreshing the job search listings for the third time this morning is not doing the thing.
66. Getting lost in the labyrinth of click-bait articles is not doing the thing.
67. Looking into the musical acts for festivals (even the ones in small print) to see if there's enough you like to justify going is not doing the thing.
68. Doing a deep dive into finding the true identify of the real life Martha from Baby Reindeer is not doing the thing.
69. Checking the news site again to see what new news has occurred since you last checked earlier this morning is not doing the thing.
70. Reorganizing all the files saved on your desktop is not doing the thing.
71. Taking out the garbage, recycling and compost is not doing the thing.
72. Sorting through all of the 55,437 photos saved to your cloud is not doing the thing.
73. Deleting Hinge on your phone to replaced it with Bumble only to discover the same type of people exist on it is not doing the thing.
74. Engaging in surface-level conversation with someone you’re vaguely interested in that you matched with on a dating app is not doing the thing.
75. Creeping on your ex’s socials to see what they’re up to these days (but really to know if they’ve moved on sooner than you have) is not doing the thing.
76. Choosing and editing the photos from this past week to add to your photo dump on Instagram is not doing the thing.
77. Watching endless Tiktoks on unrelated hot- takes of current events is not doing the thing.
78. Figuring out which 90 Day Fiance series is on right now is not doing the thing.
79. Finally getting around to finishing the book you started earlier this year and haven't touched since is not doing the thing.
80. Editing the online shopping cart you’ve had going for the past 6 months is not doing the thing.
81. Researching which protein powders work best is not doing the thing.
82. Doing a hot yoga class is not doing the thing.
83. Researching which celebrities are on Ozempic is not doing the thing.
84. Figuring out which selfie you took this morning will be your new profile photo is not doing the thing.
85. Trying to see what you would look like with bangs is not doing the thing.
86. Creating or updating personal financial spreadsheets is not doing the thing.
87. Scrambling to find a birthday gift for your friend’s party tonight that you clearly forgot about is not doing the thing.
88. Figuring out who of your friends is the Miranda, the Samantha and the Charlotte to your obvious Carrie is not doing the thing.
89. Wikipeding your headache symptoms because you're not sure if you need water or Advil is not doing the thing.
90. Wikipeding the entire Game of Thorns series before House of Dragon season 2 drops because you couldn’t have been bothered to watch it when it was on is not doing the thing.
91. Going through your List on Netflix to remove the things you’ve already seen is not doing the thing.
92. Changing your outfit mid-day because you’re “not vibing with it” is not doing the thing.
93. Taking a nap after lunch because you ate too much and now you feel drowsy is not doing the thing.
94. Sorting through your junk drawer is not doing the thing.
95. Looking up local hiking trails because you might get into hiking is not doing the thing.
96. Scrolling through Instagram to see what secret songs Taylor Swift has recently played is not doing the thing.
97. Checking court registry databases to see if your Hinge date this weekend hasn’t committed any crimes is not doing the thing.
98. Researching the depths of the internet to find the origin of the most viral memes is not doing the thing.
99. Writing this list is not doing the thing.
Regardless of which thing, or things, on this list you’re currently doing to delay doing the thing, the one thing I’ve learned over the years of not doing the thing is: the thing will always be there until you do it. So, no matter what else you complete that’s not the thing, you’re delaying doing the actual thing, which prolongs the inevitable suffering all the while the thing is still yet to be completed. As much as you don’t want to do the thing, prolonging it only makes it harder on yourself. So, do yourself (and the thing) a favour, and just do the thing. Your future self will thank you for it.
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